Shut Eyes Give Birth to the Concealed Fate.

.... i think the title explains itself....

im not a blogger but im gonna try this....

i think im sick in the head.
things are so different
things have changed.
i'm not sure what i want or who i am...
ive become such a shy person i dont know what to do with myself anymore.
i cant bring myself to talk to anyone who i want to anymore.
will someone please give me a straight jacket?
lock me up.. im not good for anyone not even me.
i'm so sick....
school is so tiring.. up at 5 am... up and down stairs every period (for those of you who dont know my high school has 3 floors and im on a different one every hour)
i try my hardest to stay in the present but nothing seems to slow it down but HIM.
He controlls my life... i cant stop thinking about him...
I wish i could tell him but i cant i dont want to ruin the friendship between us...
this is not a game
take my hand take me from this place i know....
Im drowning in the fear of myself.
some words of wisdom would be great now but it dosent matter... they will probaly give me a feeling of self pride but then it will be gone in an instant.

im having a bit of a breakdown... unable to let these feelings out this is the only way for me to... through writing.